WTH..

Why masscom? Do you know it has no future for you? It's mostly taken by the malay students. Why not engineering or accounts? Or something like lawyer is better though. you know she's earning a lot in accounting? In the other hand, he's suffering on his works and has no time always, do you want to be like him? And yet she's earning almost the same amount in a specific and a shorter time. He is also studying in medical course and very hardworking with his studies. Please think properly before you make your choice. And how's your german studies? Not going for engineering anymore? They're still better than your masscom course you know. Career is not all about interest or anything, you don't take the course because you just have the interest in it. Do you see him working so hard and don't have the time to spend or going somewhere for as in like vacation?

And what if i take lawyer course for an example? you can't cause your result is not good enough. And you're forgetful also so for all the test you may find it hard to score great marks. 'Actually i've the credits to go for most course and my results are moderately and not ''bad''.' When the sentence 'lawyer and masscom can't even compete', it was effing hurt. It show that masscom is not a good or for a 'nerd' subject to study. It's simply for low-educated students.

Why am I always treated these way. Why can't you guys let me be who i am or let me just decide it myself. One of the reason i study masscom it's because i've interest in it and it's fun for a person like me which hate to be in an office or sitting on a particular spot for long. He's working so hard and the company is well-managed now, is it effing wrong for me to help him out so when there's trouble, we can face it together.

I feel happier these way. I don't fuck care what people think as long i'm happy with them. I'm not happy if i get really rich? Nor am i happy to be popular or my status're high? I've my own freaking plans and i know what i'm actually doing. People seems to misuse me or misunderstanding me, they just want me to be the person on what they like me to be. I'm not your home-made robot you know. I've my own feelings and all i want to do is to make them happy and just enough amount of money to make them proud and happy together that's all.
tqtq..

depression

After for such a long time, you're still in my thought even i tried to forget for what had happened. It really disturbed me cause bit by bit just pop out in my mind all of a sudden everytime. Can't imagine for all the bad things i've done, you still forgive me without me noticing it. After it ends, i tried to just play around with others and notice there's no other that can replace you. These is really a big lesson for me for treating you like this cause i know i can't buy the past. I feel so stupid for the choice i took and i admit everything feels wrong till now. People seems to misunderstand why am i not serious enough it's just simply because i don't wanna have the same mistake happen to me again. Even i'm so that forgetful, the 'happening' between didn't just vanish like that, but it still remain in my mind till now. The time we're at the playground, in school, shop, ice-cream moments, having McD's, and even our 1st time in cinema together. There's even once you felt angry but i didn't help to notice it when i brought you to pool with my friends. I know it sounds awkward and childish but i really do wanna express my feelings here, and i really enjoyed every second and surprisingly, i'm not faking it. Thank God she became my friend again and we're now close enough, for me. Still love her much and care for her, but in a different way you know. :) Thanks for accepting me again cause i really don't feel worth it to lose you. You and your family had really helped me a lot. In a negative way, i'm really a bastard cause i'm easily persuaded and thought of changing style all the time, if you know what i mean.

i don't mind if you read these by chance, i just wanna express my feelings and everything to fulfill my depressionNESS. hah. There's just something that you won't understand why that happened. Really happy for what we are now. Love you always.